Tag Archives: why is life unfair

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness, but Judging Others is Not

There is nothing better than being clean.  Keeping your house clean and your body clean does have a way of keeping your mind clean….and, in my opinion, the cleaner your mind is – the more connected to G-d (or The Life Force of the Universe) you can be.

But…..when someone says to another person “cleanliness is next to Godliness” and proceeds to dictate how clean the person should be in order to fulfill the meaning of this saying, I doubt that judging another person’s cleanliness is what this phrase is trying to teach us.  Furthermore, to use God as a reason to judge others (especially in trivial matters), probably isn’t the best idea since none of us have any idea what God’s intention is for another person besides ourselves – and to presume that we do, I think, is a drop egotistical.

And I doubt that God intends for us to be egotistical.  Just saying.

Not only that, but the saying “cleanliness is next to Godliness” isn’t even a real “Biblical” saying and “don’t judge another until you are in his shoes” has a lot of Biblical sources…..take a look….

Source for “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”

It does not come from the bible. In fact, until the time of the renaisance, bathing was oft seen as sinful, regarding the body as more important than the spirit. Bathing was also strongly associated with the “decadent” Romans. It’s origins seems to be in the writings of Francis Bacon. In his ‘Advancement of Learning’ (1605) he wrote: ‘Cleanness of body was ever deemed to proceed from a due reverence to God.’ Near two centuries later John Wesley in one of his sermons (1791) indicated that the proverb was already well known in the form we use today. Wrote Wesley: ‘Slovenliness is no part of religion.’Cleanliness is indeed next to Godliness.'” From “Morris Dictionary of Word and Phrase Origins” by William and Mary Morris (HarperCollins, New York, 1977, 1988). There are a couple more details in “Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings” (1996) by Gregory Y. Titelman (Random House, New York, 1996): “.According to the fourteenth edition of ‘Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable,’ it is an old Hebrew proverb used in the late 2nd century by Rabbi Phinehas ben-Yair. First attested in the United States in the ‘Monthly Anthology and Boston Review’ (1806). The proverb is found in varying forms.” (Yahoo Answers)

Read Cleanliness is Next to Godliness – the Talmudic Source if you are curious to see the original source and how this phrase became known as a “Biblical” saying.

SOME  sources for “Do not judge another unless you are in his shoes”

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Mother-In-Laws and their Baby Boys

If you are considering marring (or are already married) to a “mommy’s baby boy”……my condolences.

I was that girl…..and I didn’t realize what I was in for before I got married to them.

When my first husband and I got married, he was working in day camp as a life guard and I had a real job with benefits and pay.  During the year (after a lot of coaxing) he got a job in a school part time as a gym teacher.  I got pregnant right after our wedding.  We panicked a little, but since we both got along with my mother-in-law at the time,we all decided that it would be a good idea that she moved in with us so that I could keep working and we didn’t have to pay a babysitter during the day.

It turned out not to be such a good idea.

Before Kayla, my daughter, was born, we were a having a few problems due to the fact that whenever my husband and I fought, he would always include his mother and her opinion…..and he would tell me…:”See, my mother agrees with me..”

I started slowly but surely resenting his mother and I didn’t want to live with her after a while, but I had no choice.  The baby was coming and my husband at the time still didn’t have a good job.

So, instead, I simply became a bitch.  I came home from work everyday pregnant and angry and the duo got the raw end of it.

Kayla was born and six weeks later I had to go back to work.  This was understood from the beginning and if I didn’t go back to work, we would have no money to pay our bills.

I nursed Kayla whenever I could, but, of course, during the day, while I was at work, I could not nurse her and I left milk for my mother in law to feed her with.

After about a month, I started noticing that when I was home, Kayla would not sleep until I nursed her.  I found this to be weird  – especially since my mother in law was the type to not let a baby cry even for one second.  How did she manage to keep her from crying without nursing her?

I confronted my husband with this and he told me I was crazy.

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Easy Money, Chapter 1

Everyday, I am going to post a chapter from a publication that the Breslov community in Brooklyn puts out which is based on the teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov.  I will add my two cents on the bottom of the post and those of you who have a few more cents to add….please feel free.

Even though Rabbi Nachman was a Hasid, his teachings are applicable and potentially valuable to all of humanity

Visit my post “The Unique Teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov” for a little introduction to who Rabbi Nachman is and why he is special.

Easy Money, Chapter 1

“The ability to earn a good living, comfortably is determined by a person’s awareness of G-d.  Those who fail to recognize G-d’s decisive role in their destiny, including the realm of finances, senselessly overwork themselves, always in strenuous pursuit of another buck.

But when you feel a pervasive sense of G-d’s presence in your life, then you casually assume a relaxed attitude towards earning your livelihood.  You will attend leisurely to your business, confident in G-d’s generosity to provide, as He does universally for every creature lart or small.

When you’ve identified in your mind that it is solely G-d who determines a person’s financial status, irrespective of human device, then you’ll realize how needless it is to overly strain yourself to eke out a living, for aren’t there an infinite variety of ways that G-d can furnish Man with support?

G-d will shoulder your financial burden and you will never be lacking at His philanthropic hand, if you would just accept the reality of your utter reliance on Him for everything.”

My commentary:

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Calling All Atheists

Honestly, I am intrigued by how proclaimed atheists think

I understand that it is very hard to believe that we were sent to this earth to live in misery and then get punished some more afterwards by what religions call a “merciful” G-d.

I understand the need to feel that we have some of our own power and the opposition to putting all of one’s faith in a power other then themselves.

I understand the discrepancies that exist within organized religion that might make someone uncomfortable with the entire movement.

I understand the need to incorporate tangible reality, like science and history, into the concept of life as we know it as well as what is not known.

I understand the need to dismiss the idea of a Being that we can’t see that we are to be submissive to.

I understand the idea that it may appear that humans may have concocted the entire idea of a “God” in order to maintain control of the masses.

I understand that religions tend to dismiss obvious realities (dinosaurs, evolution, big bang theory, the age of the earth etc..) based on Biblical teachings and that just does not make sense.

But what I don’t understand is how atheists come to a solid conclusion that there is no such thing as The Life Force of the Universe…..

How can a person be so sure that there is not an original, a first and only one force (energy) in the Universe that ALL OF US came from.

This theory does not contradict reason in anyway.

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I Don’t Believe in “Sins”, But Wasting Food is a Sin

I try very hard not to judge others…..but when it comes to waste, I can’t help having somewhat of a negative opinion about those that are so flagrantly wasteful.

When I see Reality Shows like the one I saw recently…..I think it was called Chef Roble & Co. (Bravo)…I have to wonder what people are thinking….

Here’s a clip found from a website called : Doggie Wedding @ Obsessive Chihuahua Disorder

This is what was on the doggie’s menu at their wedding:

  • Appetizer:  Hudson Valley Duck Meatballs (Duck Breast, Carrots)
  • Entree:  Prime Steak Flank and Eggs (Grass Fed Beef, Watercress)
  • Dessert:  Peanute Butter Wedding Cake and Ice Cream

Total cost for 30 people and 15 dogs: $25,000

This is just the epitome of waste.  Whenever I watch my favorite, the Housewives, and others like the Kardashians, I can’t help but wonder what pleasure these people get from spending millions and millions of dollars on things that last for only one night (Kim Kardashian’s mega ridiculous wedding for example).

And…..when they travel to different parts of the world….how do they feel when they see unbelievable poverty…poverty that could be significantly helped for the price of ONE of their cars.

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Should We Continue to Pressure our Kids to go to College?

I know that many people will disagree with me on this subject…..but I think it is time to stop putting so much pressure on our kids to go to college.

Yes, I do realize that college has the potential to increase the opportunities that our children have in their life, presuming that they do well, but college also has the potential to destroy their lives.

Even CUNY colleges are going to rack up about a $30,000 bill by your kid graduates….and college tuition is not a money back guarantee.

If your kid does not find a job in their chosen career, they will be in the same position as everyone who didn’t go to college is in…….having to find any source of work that will pay the bills.

The only difference would be that they had to invest at least $30,000 dollars to find this out.

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What it Takes to Build a Marriage that Works

I ran into an interesting thought yesterday while perusing various blogs and reading lists….

“A woman needs to love her husband a little and understand him a lot..and a man needs to love his wife a lot and understand her a little..”

(You can read the rest of the post here: Boy Gets Fucked Throughout Life)

I thought about how true this statement is.

I can only judge based on my own relationship and I have no problem saying that in my case…this is very handy concept to understand and apply.  My husband figured it out early on that all he had to do to keep me loyal was pile on the unconditional love – despite the occasional “Crazy Triggers” (stole this term from a post called One Step Away from Crazy ).  He understood that he didn’t really have to understand me so well, because sometimes I don’t even understand my self that well, but that all he had to do was accept that I have my moments as a woman and keep on loving me.

Eventually, because he invested so much time into loving me, he eventually won my trust and then required me in return to understand him and his needs.

Which I was very willing to do in return for his love.

The only thing that I want to add to this thought is that the responsibility of establishing the quality of the relationship falls on the man.

In other words, since women must try to understand men in order to appreciate them and, thereby, respect them (which is ultimately what men want from us)…a men must first make sure that we trust them enough to try and understand them and respect them.

I love to compare modern day psychology to understandings from ancient text.  The creation story in Genesis gives us a hint that this dynamic exists when we think about the fact that Adam was created first and Eve was created for the benefit of Adam.

God created everything before Adam and then Adam was created to rule over the earth and all its inhabitants.  It also says that God created Adam in His image.

This concept has been a mystery since the beginning of time and much commentary has been written about this…..but I want to suggest another perspective.

I think when God created Adam in His Image, God wanted to create a being that could enjoy the feeling of giving.  Since God doesn’t have a physical “image”, the “image” that the Bible paints is that God is giving. It is a conceptual “image”.  Man became the physical form of that image.  Man is the giver.

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