Category Archives: Knowing Yourself

To Live a Purpose Driven Life – Part II

Cont from “To Live a Purpose Driven Life – Part !

………..So I wrote a book.

When I wrote the book, I did not have making money in mind.  In fact, I left it on a free website for about a year and forgot about it.  I figured to myself that there is no way I can convince anyone that they don’t have to listen to what other people tell them, I can only hope to provide an inspiring resource to others and if they choose to read it, then great….other than that, I can do nothing else.

One day I woke up and my desire to share my knowledge with others was overwhelming.  This desire was just as strong as my desire for to cheat on my husband when my husband was not fulfilling my need for love and acceptance.

I became “depressed” the same way as I became “depressed” when I felt unloved by my husband.  I needed to fulfill my desire and I couldn’t understand why I was not able to.  How was I going to get my words out?

I started by completing my E-book formatting so that it could be submitted for “premium distribution”, which means that it would be distributed to Barnes & Nobles, Sony, Apple, Amazon and some other outlets.  I also decided to charge a small fee, because I felt that I needed to consider it worth something and by charging money for my creation, I was putting value on it.

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To Live a Purpose Driven Life – Part I

How can we lead a purpose driven life if we don’t even know what are our purpose here is?

I, of course, cannot tell you what your purpose is.  Each of us have our own unique purpose.   But what I can do is express how it feels when you know that you have figured out what your purpose is and what it takes to fulfill it.

I did not know my purpose – or even think I had a unique purpose – until the age of 35.  At this point in my life, I ran into a wall and was unable to figure out why so many things seemed to be stacked against me – even though I really felt like I was doing everything the “right” way.

I was very responsible to my job and family and I was the kind of person that tried to be “good” all the time.  I was always helping others out and I had a strong fear of G-d.  I was afraid to do things “wrong” because I might get punished by G-d.

But……is there a person on this earth that doesn’t do something  that is “wrong”?

I ended up doing something very, very wrong……

I cheated on my first husband.

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Posted by on February 12, 2012 in Definition of "Sinning", How to Live a Purpose Driven Life, Knowing Yourself, Making Smart Choices, What is our Purpose?, Why is Life Unfair?


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When What You Look Like Defines You

I get a lot of feedback on posts about looks and weight issues so I am going to add another to the many that I have already (see below for the links).

First of all, I want to start with saying that there is nowhere that you will ever be able to quote me saying that I think that looks don’t matter.  They do matter if not for the mere fact that you want the person you are with to be attracted to you.

But…….that doesn’t mean that cookie cutter looks matter.

Why are we so consumed with spending so much time, energy and money when it comes to altering our image to suit what television, movies, magazines and advertising tell us that we should look like.

Doesn’t it occur to anyone they are all in on the joke……and the joke is that they are making money on our insecurities!!!!

Yes….that’s right.  By spending so much time, energy and money on our attempt to look like Angelina Jolie, we are feeding into exactly what the people making our money want us to!!

Even worse is when we decide that what we look like defines us.  In other words, when we have no confidence in anything besides our looks and we invest everything we have into looking like everyone else…….Guess what?   You look like everyone else! (except maybe you have dark hair instead of blond hair?!?)

And….guest what else?  If you are defined by your looks, your definition is that you are not special………you are just like everyone else!!!!

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Protecting vs. Exposing Children

A child who is protected from all controversial ideas is as vulnerable as a child who is protected from every germ. The infection, when it comes- and it will come- may overwhelm the system, be it the immune system or the belief system.”  Jane Smiley

As a woman with two daughters I know what it means to want to be the best mother I can be and how hard that is to do.

I know the feeling of not being sure whether what we are doing is what is really the best for them – which is all we want to do.

I know the feeling of wanting our kids to be happy and not to hurt too much.

I know the feeling of understanding that in order for our kids to be happy, they must be equipped with the right life tools necessary to make that happen.

I know the feeling of being unsure as to whether we are able to provide our kids with those tools.

I know the feeling of making that motherly decision as to what we think is the best for our kids and going all the way with it.

I know the feeling of disappointment when we realize that we may have been wrong.

I know the feeling of trying something else that is not necessarily accepted by societal standards.

I know the feeling of disapproval from friends and family for trying new methods of mothering.

I know the feeling of contentment when my kids finally get me and understand that all I want for them is to be happy…..but in order to be happy they have to take responsibility for themselves and their actions.

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Defending Humanity…or Just Being Defensive?

When I read my posts over just to remind myself of the things I have spoken about – I am also paying attention to where I may have contradicted myself.

When talking about spirituality vs reality (the physical world that we live in), it becomes hard to express everything that I think about in one post.  I invariably fail to express everything that I feel about the topic…..because I would not be able to stop typing.  And…when I write another post, I still may miss some crucial points that may tie things together.

That is the reason I encourage everyone who is reading my blog to please ask questions.  I may not explain something as fully and as coherent as I would have liked and I will never know unless I get feedback telling me so.

Back to the subject….

I have found one pretty major inconsistency within my blog.  The topic of sticking up for one’s self.

You might say the right to stick up for one’s self is obvious.  It is not so obvious to me according to the way that I think about things.  In fact, intention is always the root of behavior so, in this case intention also matters.

Don’t get me wrong – it is never wrong to stick up for one’s self, but there are many different reasons why one would need to and many different ways to do it – and these variables make the difference to me in how I decide the appropriate time to stick up for myself.

Being defensive is not necessarily a good thing.  Yes, we all get defensive once in a while…but what is it that we are defending.  Are we defending something that maybe we are wrong about and we just don’t want to see the truth – or are we defending our right (and everyone else’s right) to dignity.

That is the question I ask myself (or try to ask myself) if I feel myself becoming defensive.

Here is the difference;

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Like A Rolling Stone

One of my favorite songs…..

Here are the lyrics:

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn’t you ?
People’d call, say, “Beware doll, you’re bound to fall”
You thought they were all kiddin’ you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin’ out
Now you don’t talk so loud
Now you don’t seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?

You’ve gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you’re gonna have to get used to it
You said you’d never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but know you realize
He’s not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And say do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?
You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain’t no good
You shouldn’t let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain’t it hard when you discover that
He really wasn’t where it’s at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They’re drinkin’, thinkin’ that they got it made
Exchanging all precious gifts
But you’d better take your diamond ring, you’d better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can’t refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You’re invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?

I think we can all agree that Bob Dylan was a successful, intelligent, famous and wealthy person – someone everyone aspires to be…..and he was able to have the insight to understand that it all means nothing.

He was able to understand that anonymity is sometimes a greater blessing than fame and fortune.

Other posts you might like:

Why is Life Unfair?

Life is full of controversy so here is a thought to live by:
Why is life unfair?
Because there’s never going to be a system that is fair to everyone.
Shannon Miller

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Mind Over Matter – But Not Over Heart

“Neuroscientists have recently discovered exciting new information about the heart that makes us realize it’s far more complex than we’d ever imagined. Instead of simply pumping blood, it may actually direct and align many systems in the body so that they can function in harmony with one another.

These scientists have found that the heart has its own independent nervous system – a complex system referred to as “the brain in the heart.” There are at least forty thousand neurons (nerve cells) in the heart – as many as are found in various subcortical centers of the brain.

The heart communicates with the brain and the rest of the body in three ways documented by solid scientific evidence: neurologically (through transmissions of nerve impulses), biochemically (through hormones and neurotransmitters), and biophysically (through pressure waves). In addition, growing scientific evidence suggests that the heart may communicate with the brain and body in a fourth way – energetically (through electromagnetic field interactions). Through these biological communication systems, the heart has a significant influence on the function of our brains and all our Systems.

This new scientific evidence shows that the heart uses these methods to send our brain extensive emotional and intuitive signals. Along with this understanding that the heart is in constant communication with the brain, scientists are discovering that our hearts may actually be the “intelligent force” behind the intuitive thoughts and feelings we all experience.”

The rest of this article can be found at:  “Your Heart has a Brain!”

Yes, we all know that the heart feels stuff.  But did you know that it was wired neurologically, biochemically, biophysically AND energetically to communicate with our brain?

Did you know that our hearts may actually be the “intelligent force” behind our intuitive thoughts and feelings that we experience?

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