I ran into an interesting thought yesterday while perusing various blogs and reading lists….
“A woman needs to love her husband a little and understand him a lot..and a man needs to love his wife a lot and understand her a little..”
(You can read the rest of the post here: Boy Gets Fucked Throughout Life)
I thought about how true this statement is.
I can only judge based on my own relationship and I have no problem saying that in my case…this is very handy concept to understand and apply. My husband figured it out early on that all he had to do to keep me loyal was pile on the unconditional love – despite the occasional “Crazy Triggers” (stole this term from a post called One Step Away from Crazy ). He understood that he didn’t really have to understand me so well, because sometimes I don’t even understand my self that well, but that all he had to do was accept that I have my moments as a woman and keep on loving me.
Eventually, because he invested so much time into loving me, he eventually won my trust and then required me in return to understand him and his needs.
Which I was very willing to do in return for his love.
The only thing that I want to add to this thought is that the responsibility of establishing the quality of the relationship falls on the man.
In other words, since women must try to understand men in order to appreciate them and, thereby, respect them (which is ultimately what men want from us)…a men must first make sure that we trust them enough to try and understand them and respect them.
I love to compare modern day psychology to understandings from ancient text. The creation story in Genesis gives us a hint that this dynamic exists when we think about the fact that Adam was created first and Eve was created for the benefit of Adam.
God created everything before Adam and then Adam was created to rule over the earth and all its inhabitants. It also says that God created Adam in His image.
This concept has been a mystery since the beginning of time and much commentary has been written about this…..but I want to suggest another perspective.
I think when God created Adam in His Image, God wanted to create a being that could enjoy the feeling of giving. Since God doesn’t have a physical “image”, the “image” that the Bible paints is that God is giving. It is a conceptual “image”. Man became the physical form of that image. Man is the giver.
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