Who Are You?

27 Feb

This question is so cliche – we don’t even know the meaning of this question.

A few years ago, if someone would  have asked me this question, I would have looked at them straight in the eyes, while trying to keep a straight face, and I would have responded….” I am Glinda, the good witch of the South.”

What does this question mean and if we are anyone besides who we think we are, how would we know the answer?

That is the reason why this question is actually such an important one to answer…..because most likely we are not who we think we are.

A few years ago, I would have rolled my eyes and given a sarcastic answer to this question because I would have no other answer to give.

What kind of answer am I supposed to give?……I am Shayna Abrams, a married woman with children who likes music and loves to cook…..

I now realize that we are the infinite spirit inside of us and not the our finite bodies – nor are we the finite functions of our bodies –  that have been named by the ones who conceived us.

We are not just our names.  We are not just our jobs.  We are not just our particular enjoyments.  We are not just spouses.  We are not just parents.  We are not just friends.

We are far more than all of these things together.  When we limit ourselves to something as trite as the identifications above, we limit the power of ourselves – which is our spirit.

We are limiting ourselves to a finite thing rather an infinite being.

Another blogger sent me an email asking me what I thought about the following quote:

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
—Kurt Vonnegut

Most of the time, we hear a quote and say to ourselves…”nice quote, so true…”….

But do we ever sit quietly by ourselves and think about the implications of a sentence that is meant to provoke thought?

Probably not, because we are too busy being our jobs, our enjoyments, spouses, parents and friends – you know…….the name of our spirit.

We ALL pretend to be someone that our spirit may not be……because we were taught from childhood that we must be smart…..
that we must be pretty…..
that we must not be lazy…..
that we must be successful…..
that we must be artistic…..
that we must be nice…..
that we must be polite……
that we must be fun……
that we must be serious…..
that we must be afraid…..
that we must be happy…..
that we must think positively……
that we must be the life of the party…..
that we must be athletic….
that we must be the best……

But, what if we are not comfortable being the way we were taught that we have to be?

What if our spirit wants to fly and not be attached to a description or an identification such as…..I am a fun loving, accountant.

Staying with the theme of this post, replace the word "mind" with "ego"

What if our spirit wants to be allowed to do whatever it feels like doing at the moment (assuming that there is no intention of hurting others) and doesn’t want to be limited to what our parents, teachers, friends and bosses have said that we should do……or ‘be”.

But “we” (our egos) are so scared to lose our identification as “normal” people,  we pretend to be what is expected of us, because we don’t want to be different or weird.  We don’t want to be an outcast.  We want to be excepted by our family, friends and everyone else.

How can we be accepted by everyone else if we don’t act like everyone else and listen to what the majority of the world says should be important to us.

If the whole world is talking about what Cameron Diaz wore at the Oscar’s last night, how can we be uninterested….what will we have to talk about with others?

We will be bored……..We will be boring………No one will like us and we will be alone.

So we pretend to be like everyone else.

But…….we are still bored…..because deep down inside we find what everyone else says they are interested in…… boring.

We really want to be set free from the bondage of conformity…….actually……. our spirit wants to be set free from the bondage of conformity.

Our bodies and egos that have names want to be like everyone else.

Did you know that people who have been imprisoned for a long period of time, will “bond” with their captor in order to insure their survival?  They will identify their survival  as being dependent on the good will of their captor and they will build emotional attachments to their captor – even to the point of sticking up for the person who has imprisoned them.  This is called “Stockholm Syndrome” …(for a great article on this phenomenon click here: Everyday Psychology – Why do kidnap victims fail to escape, even when they have a chance to run? )

If we think that we are our bodies and our egos……in other words, if we build emotional attachments to our the finite aspects of ourselves – our bodies and our egos……we in essence become captives of these two aspects of ourselves – which are external  and finite aspects (spirit is internal and infinite)

In order to sustain the survival of our bodies and our egos, we must do it how everyone else does it…..we must be like everyone else we see.

We must look outward for the sake of the survival of who we think our “self” is.

And…..we must protect our outer “self” (our bodies and our egos  – our captors) from being attacked and possibly “killed”.  So we defend our “self” as though it is good to us and we are happy with who we are.

But we are very unhappy…..because we are still prisoners of our “self”…….because who we really are is trapped in a body and an ego.

I am sure at this point you can understand what a viscous cycle this can turn into……when you realize that building an emotional attachment to something that is harmful, but not being able to realize that it is harmful…… actually the most dangerous thing a person can do to themselves.

So as the the quote says….

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

Whoever it is that you pretend to be……be aware that you are a prisoner of that persona…….

So, we should only hope that, at the very least, our captor has a heart.

Because…..only our hearts will set us free.

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3 responses to “Who Are You?

  1. Cheryl Baumgartner

    February 28, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    This is rather weird. I was Watching the Movie Summer of Sam last night and I noticed a scene that I had missed before between Adrian Brody and John Leguizano. Adrian says “We are all two people, the person we were born to be and the person the world forces us be.” That’s not the exact quote but it is the gist of what he was saying.

    So this post was very timely. But it is really something to think about. How many unhappy people are walking around pretending to be happy, because they are forcing themselves into the little niche the world says that they should be in.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      February 28, 2012 at 4:38 pm

      I know this has to be true about everybody…..and most people are too stuck in their presentation to break free. The majority of the posts in my blog is to try and wake people out of their stupor. Between Hollywood, religion and the government, their are a lot of layers to shred before we can get to the truth within ourselves.

  2. varungenius

    March 20, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Amazing post! This is very common question that comes in my mind almost everyday; and every time I try to answer it to myself, I go a level deeper within my SELF and understand myself better!
    It’s true that there are many people who just pretend to be something that the world wants them to be like!
    Your experience has awakened your conscious….you are transformed, like me! Happy transformation…’s the beginning of a new life in an entirely new world 🙂
    enjoyed your post 🙂


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