Why is Life Unfair?

08 Feb

Is it fair to assume that we all ask ourselves this question at some point in our lives?

When we finally get to the point in our lives that we really need the answer to this question….that is the point where we will start to seek it.

That is the point where we begin a new journey.

And….throughout the journey we will inevitably find a few answers….

It is just like anything else in life.  If you want to make money, you will work very hard to accomplish that goal.  If you want to stay beautiful, you will work very hard to accomplish that goal.  If you want your kids to be “good”, you will work very hard to accomplish that goal. If you want a successful marriage, you will work very hard to accomplish that goal.  If you want to impress your boss, you will work very hard to accomplish that goal.  If you want to lose weight, you will work very hard to accomplish that goal………

If you want to understand why life is unfair, you will work very hard to accomplish that goal.

The question is, though you may win some battles (accomplish part of your goal), will you ever win the war (completely reach your goal)?

My answer to you is…….No….you will never completely accomplish that goal…..because the amount that you want something is the same amount that you are missing it.

If you want to make money – how much money will be enough before you don’t want to make anymore?

If you want to stay beautiful – how beautiful do you have to be before you decide you don’t need to try anymore?

If you want your kids to be “good” – how “good” do they have to be before you give up advising them on ways to improve?

If you want successful marriage – how successful does it have to be before you stop putting effort into it.

If you want to impress your boss – how impressed does he have to be before you stop trying to impress him/her?

If you want to lose weight – how much weight do you have to lose before you can go back to eating whatever you want and never exercising?

If you want to understand why life is unfair – how long will you search for answers before you decide that life is really fair?

Because…..isn’t that the ultimate goal……that we all want to believe (or have a reason to believe) that life must be fair?

So why bother with anything, you ask….

Because the journey is no fun when it is over.

Other posts you might like:

Life is full of controversy so here is a thought to live by:
Why is life unfair?
Because there’s never going to be a system that is fair to everyone.
Shannon Miller

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17 responses to “Why is Life Unfair?

  1. Cheryl Baumgartner

    February 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    I like that quote at the end but there is one thing that I will Add enough is never enough because usually we have some ulterior motive for a goal that crosses over into another area We still haven’t identified the “why”.

    For example the man that wants to impress his boss. WHY does he want to impress his boss. Is it because he wants a promotion that will bring him more money? So WHY does he want more money? So he can provide better for his family. WHY does he want to provide for his family? So his wife can be happier making their marriage more successful.

    We have to correctly decide WHY. Our why has to satisfy us personally but not be the basis of satisfying someone else.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      February 9, 2012 at 3:03 pm

      Without a doubt….that is the route of all – the WHY! (My husband hates my why obsession :))
      In the example you have given, the “why” or the intention behind the deed is a good one – which will make the journey a pleasant one (with a few rough spots for excitement). If the intention of the “why’ is for an ego promoting purpose, I think I can solidly and assuredly say that the journey will be a rough one (with a few bright spots for encouragement).
      As always – love to hear from you!!

  2. Mark

    February 10, 2012 at 8:56 am

    I have wrestled with this question too! I believe that the answer is definitely that life is NOT fair. Sure, it may seem so to many if you weigh up the consequences of our actions but what about the gnarly questions? What about stillbirths? Congenital abnormalities? Wrongful criminal convictions? etc etc. The world is broken and as a consequence, everywhere there is pain and injustice, suffering and death. And of course, joy and peace and love! I was an atheist until I was 29. Made perfect sense to me. Now I am a Christian and that makes even more sense. Jesus said “in this world you will have suffering, but take heart! I have overcome the world!” The world is most definitely unfair. But that’s ok. You’ve just got to get on the winning side.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      February 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

      Thanks for your comment – because that is my point. Accept that life is unfair, but only if you look it at that way. The winning side is the perspective that life is a blessing – even though it seems unfair. It is interesting that you mention that you were once an atheist….I was always curios to discuss these topics with someone who claims they are an atheist. I have a problem with people saying that they simply do not believe in “God”. I think it is a bold statement and I believe that maybe their definition of God has been warped by religious leaders and others who define God as a man in the sky with a whip.
      Would love to hear from you on this subject!!

  3. Noman Soofi

    February 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Shayna, do you think so that life is really unfair with all of us? Even so many successful stories are in front of us that we can follow.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      February 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

      I absolutely do not think life is unfair…..but the proof that you have given is not the reason why. Just because life is fair for some….does not mean that all the people in the world think that life is fair.
      In other words, just because there are many “successful” stories doesn’t mean there just as many tragic stories. By this definition, life seems to be very unfair.

  4. Gail

    February 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    Very nice, I like the way you look at all the aspects of someone’s life (career, money, family, personal well-being). It is true that the best part of the journey is the journey itself not the answer at the other end :))

    • Peaceful Controversy

      February 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm

      Loved your blog….will be visiting more often!
      Thanks for commenting and Peace!

  5. guru ngaji

    February 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    for me life is fair, I allways thank to god everyday and every night

    • Peaceful Controversy

      February 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      For me as well….and I too thank G-d for this fact everyday and every night!
      Peace and G-d bless.

  6. Masec

    February 10, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    very interesting article.

  7. rmactsc

    March 8, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    I’m a firm believer in life is what you make of it and when one door closes if you look hard enough you will find another one that opens. Stay strong.

  8. Eric

    May 8, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    “Peaceful Inequalities”

    I was pondering recently on the subject of inequalities. In any given moment, are we not surrounded by varying levels of inequalities? On the next MTA ride, car commute, or walk, begin to notice the similarities and severe inequalities of any subject you want to focus on. For example: height, weight, colors, cultural stereotypes, chins, watch brand, advertisements on clothes, food, price scale of type of product…. I can hope you pick the one that intrigues you the most. Fun to experience passion or pleasure during an experiment.

    Thus, after viewing the “data”, think back on whether that inspired you or fueled you to jealousy? How did self behave seeing great or slight degrees of differences?

    It can be said that overall, humans can function quite peacefully with amazing degrees of inequality around them all the time.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      May 8, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      I say that inequality is a blessing – even for the those of us who may APPEAR to be at the lower end of the totem pole – like myself.
      Inequality – or what appears to be inequality – introduces us to to different perspectives of lives. Every “inequality” has a positive and a negative….sometimes one is more obvious than the other. By observing humanity and paying attention to how we feel inside about the many different perspectives which lead to various behaviors and lifestyles – which are displayed within the “inequality” of life – we are privy to the power of building our own individual perspective based on our observations….
      In other words….”inequality” is not only part of life, but it is what stirs the creative powers within us – if we would only allow them to be stirred…..
      Thanks for commenting!!

  9. Natalia

    July 16, 2012 at 3:17 am

    I think the answer to whether life is fair or not comes down to what your definition or measurement of the word fair is. No two people on Earth are exactly alike, yet 99.9 % of our genes are identical (we are basically the same).Because no two people are exactly alike, no two people can have the same lives and circumstances. No matter how rich or poor or good or evil someone is we all suffer to some extent in our lives. Everyone knows that being rich isn’t everything…the rich have just as much sorrow as the poor. Happy people are happy rich or poor, and unhappy people are unhappy rich or poor. Bad things happening to a “good” person isn’t necessarily unfair. If good things always happen to you and you are a “good” person then you’re not really a “good” person, now are you? Anybody can be good if things are always going well for them. Yes, this world is full of injustice…bullies, murders, sickness, etc. but when it comes down to it we all are still equal…so when it comes down to if life is fair I believe it is when it really matters. The world is corrupt which is apparently not fair but somehow I still believe the universe is still fair. I mean think about it. We are all born, we all know joy and sorrow, for every one of our actions there is an EQUAL and opposite reaction (A UNIVERSAL LAW CALLED THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT), and last but certainly not least we all die. There is actually one quote that I reallly love which kind of sheds some light on the burning question we all ask at one point in our lives: Why does life seem so unfair…is it fair? The quote is: The Pawn and the King go into the same box. This is a very powerful quote because it represents the highest and lowest thing a person can be. The King’s power and the Pawn’s poverty are merely temporary roles. Once the game (life) is over they both will go into a box (this is a metaphor for death). The box and death represent the revelation of the truth…the King was never superior and the Pawn was never inferior. It just seemed like that because of the difference in cirucumstance between the King and the Pawn.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      July 23, 2012 at 12:25 am

      Thank you for your insight. I only wish the entire world would see the story of the King and the Pawn more clearly…..peace would be inevitable.


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