No Wonder That it is Called the “Club” Scene

31 Jan

I just read the following articles and, though they were meant to be funny, I really want to talk about how a lot of people meet (or think they are going to meet) the opposite sex nowadays.

6 Different Female Clubbers

6 Different Male Clubbers

These articles are cute descriptions of the different types of guys and girls that can be found at the club scene.  What is funny about the two articles is that our of  the 6 types of guys, there is not one type that is described as being into finding a proper partner.  Generally, conquests is what is on these guys’ mind’s (girls, drugs, ego gratification…)

Out of the girls….attention is high on the list of things they are looking for – not suitable mates.

I get it that it is not a secret that you won’t find a potential spouse by going to clubs every night, but….the fact that most of us have enjoyed the game at some point in our life does say something about the nature of man and woman.  And…..the fact that clubs are still highly successful everywhere, hints to the fact that we are quite comfortable in our natural roles.

It is clear to me that men and women were created with certain inherent traits that are near impossible to get rid of – no matter how much the opposite sex wants us to.

Men are hunters and women wanted to be hunted…

In my opinion, in order to have a successful relationship, we need to be able to build one upon this premise.

In other words, women cannot allow men to take them for granted.

We must dangle the meat – and the meat may not always be our physical bodies….in fact quality men will love the mind of a woman…..

And… men must provide women with enough attention so that she feels wanted so that she will continue to dangle the meat.

This is the formula for a good, long lasting relationship.    The variables must make sense though….

For example, I would not suggest that sex be the premise of the relationship for the following reasons…

A man that only requires a lot of sex will need to find a woman that is highly sexual.   A woman that is highly sexual is generally the type that needs A LOT of attention.  This is catch 22 because in order to keep the guy hunting, the woman has to dangle the meat.  Dangling the meat in this case requires the woman to withhold sexually sometimes.  However, the man requires a lot of sex and will hunt for it wherever he can find it.  Nowadays it is quite easy to find it.

On the other hand, giving sex too freely could end up to be boring after a while and the man will go on a new hunt for some fresh meat – unless an alternative arrangement is worked out….but then the woman’s attention requirement comes into play.  Women generally cannot share attention – especially one that has a need for a lot of it…..

But…..if the variables in the formula are a man looking for a woman of virtue and integrity and a woman looking for a man of virtue and integrity….the chances of success are much higher.

In a sea of over sexed men and women with extreme attention requirements, virtue and integrity are traits that are rare these days making the hunt much more challenging and finding this person a rare catch.

A good man will guard that rare catch with his life by giving her his heart.  All he will want for her is her happiness and he will live to give that to her….

As for the woman…..we all  know how hard it is to find a good man.  “Dangling the meat” in this sense sounds inappropriate, but after finding a man of quality, a woman will willingly do anything to keep him interested.

He will view his catch as a valuable prize and she will appreciate being viewed that way and ensure that he continues to view her that way forever.

No need for “clubs” in this arrangement…..

Other posts you might like:

Gender Balance – Have We Achieved It?

Bachelor Parties – What a Funny Way to Start a Marriage

Man & Woman – Friend or Foe?

G-d Put the Tree There on Purpose

Why is Life Unfair?

Life is full of controversy so here is a thought to live by:
Why is life unfair?
Because there’s never going to be a system that is fair to everyone.
Shannon Miller

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6 responses to “No Wonder That it is Called the “Club” Scene

  1. Cheryl Baumgartner

    January 31, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    Sex is the absolute worst thing to base a relationship on unless all you are looking for is the physical. Sooner or later you have to get out of bed and if there is no common ground to sustain things outside of the bedroom there is no connection.

    It is much easier to have someone that you can talk to and relate to long term.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      January 31, 2012 at 6:17 pm

      You would think that this would not need to be explained…but, I don’t know if maybe I am just exaggerating the fact that this generation seems to be a little too hung up on sex – or I am right in my assumption. All I know is that based on my teenage daughters stories and shows like Millionaire Matchmaker, it seems that the physical part of a person is the only thing considered nowadays.

  2. Mollie Player

    January 31, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    I agree 100%! Can’t explain it… other than biology … it just is! More power to anyone who doesn’t fit into these roles, though.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      January 31, 2012 at 9:14 pm

      Yes, if we can overcome our base nature as separate genders and learn from each other in order to live symbiotically, what an ideal world that could be!

  3. mamaji

    February 1, 2012 at 9:49 pm

    Hi. Thank you for reading my two articles about clubbing, and thanks for introducing me to your blog!

    I couldn’t agree with you more about the concept of clubs being a place where we can endevaour our natural instincts, where the hunter can attempt to hunt, and where the hunted and dangle and tease, and also that most clubbers do go out for the attention! Why else would they head out in the cold with less than normal clothes on, to have “fun” with mates at the same venue again and again!? mmm

    your post bought a question to my mind: what do you think women’s other “natural” and “inherent” roles are in a relationship?

    • Peaceful Controversy

      February 1, 2012 at 10:19 pm

      I can answer this, but my answer is going to be using the Bible as a source of knowledge. I am only saying that as though I am warning you because a lot of people dismiss Biblical knowledge as religious hoop-lah. I see Biblical knowledge as ancient wisdom.
      It says in the Old Testament in the Book of Genesis that God created women as a “fitting helper” for man. Man, apparently, needed more than God had already given so Women was the final gift to man. This concept obviously could extend to many different explanations, but here is mine – in answer to your question.
      I believe that women are born with the inherent desire with the need to attract men in order to “help” them. “Help” can be defined many different ways. It’s definition is obviously relative to what the relationship consists of. For example, in the club scene men need to be fulfilled sexually, women desire to help men in that department.
      Another example would be men who need help in the domestic area – which most do because mommy usually does that for them. These men will require a woman to cook, clean and raise children for them. And this explains why so many women are not just willing to do so, but desire to do so.
      I just want to say one more thing on this topic….There is some beef between man and woman when it comes to what a man needs and how a woman is willing to mete those needs. As a woman, I understand the way it can feel for a man to
      expect a woman to fulfill his desires and thereby creating an enemy. Everything in nature needs balance – including the idea of men needing women to fulfill their needs and women wanting to do that. And finding that balance is clearly not so simple.
      Thank you so much for your thought provoking question. Questions that force me to think are what I live for!!!
      P.S. – Thanks for the inspiration for this post!


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