Avoiding Controversy At All Costs

16 Jan

I have a funny story that I have to share with anyone who is reading this.  Since I have started blogging, part of my journey is visiting other blogs to share my opinions and possibly have a battle of wits – just for the fun of it.  That is my definition of “peaceful controversy”…Hence, the name of my blog.

I ran into this particular blog and the blogger seemed to be have some cute stories about her family and whatnot – until I ran into a post revealing the blogger’s opinion about Occupy Wallstreet. The gist of the post was that the blogger felt that based on the media’s representation, Occupy Wallstreet was a bunch of people – the 99% of the population – just complaining about how they wanted what they didn’t have and it wasn’t fair that rest of the 1% of the population had more than them.  This blogger then went on to claim that she must be a part of the 1% since she doesn’t butt into other people’s business and worry about what others have.  This blogger also stated that she and her husband worked very hard for they had and that if someone wants something in life, hard work will get you it.  The message was don’t be jealous of others that have because they worked hard for it.

I commented that the media basically misrepresented the plight of the 99% and mentioned the fact that the middle class is dwindling and these are the very people that pay the most PERCENTAGE of taxes (vs. wages) and should have the right to expect the government to look out for them. I also mentioned that being G-d fearing, (which the blogger said was a very important part of her life) she should not make quick judgments based on what the media says, because even though she may be happy with her lot, there are a lot of very hard working, good people out there that, for some reason or another, struggle and can’t make ends meet.  I mentioned that we are not privy to know the reasons why or why not people have and don’t have, but we, as G-d fearing people, must sympathize with others not cast stones.

I said this all in the nicest way possible, but I guess there were a few undertones that the blogger read into.  The blogger responded by saying that she was influenced by the media, however…”did always believe that finding my way in this world was my responsibility and it never occurred to me to look to the government to either blame or to help me out. Just thought it was up to me”  Then the blogger asked me why I write G-d the way I do (without the O’s).

I didn’t think the blogger understood what I was trying to say based on the reply to my original comment so I replied back…

I just wanted to clarify that I agree that we are all responsible for our own way in life, however, because we pay taxes to the government the government is responsible for our country in certain ways. My only point was that we must be sympathetic to other good people who work very hard and are still struggling in this country. You and I have found our way, but others are still questioning what “the way is”…being unsympathetic to their journey in life does not help our situation in this country.

My point is a little clearer in my blog post “Democrats vs. Republicans – The Third World War” (in the politics category). I am not necessarily into politics, but I am into equality, free will and peace which, unfortuntely, politics plays a huge role in all three.

I hope you don’t mind my wordy commentary, but I love controversy – as long as it is peaceful! 🙂

P.S. – I leave the O’s out because I am Jewish and when I was little I was taught not to say or write the name of G-d in vain (or we would go to hell) so this is how we did it. You are right, it makes no sense, I simply do it out of habit…

I did not think that my reply was combative, but I think the blogger did…Here was her reply…

….. I am certainly sympathetic and am charitable toward those who have had trouble finding their way, so to speak. Unlike you, I avoid controversy whenever possible. I’m one of those who wishes everyone could just get along and be nice and respectful and compassionate all the time…….

There was some more before and after, but I want to talk about one thing; Avoiding controversy whenever possible – as if controversy is a bad thing.  I don’t plan on responding to this blogger anymore, however, I was very confused by this statement.  Wasn’t making her opinion public in the first place asking for controversy – especially after claiming that 99% of the American public must be just whiners.  Unless – maybe she thought her opinion was fact.  I guess then there would be no controversy.

I want to talk about this because this is precisely what I am talking about when I claim that people are not true to themselves – forget about being true to others.  No one can avoid controversy.  Why?  Because we are all different and we have different ways of looking at things.  Controversy is a dispute between sides holding opposing views.  Controversy is not a bad thing.  It is a good thing.  It is when controversy becomes a war that it is bad.

So, when this blogger claims that she avoids controversy whenever possible, she is either not aware of the definition of controversy, or, she doesn’t realize that by having a unique opinion she is being controversial – whether she wants to admit it or not.  Is she entitled to her opinion – regardless of how others feel about it – of course!!!  That is the part we all have got to accept.  It doesn’t matter what someone’s opinion is, they are entitled to it.  If you want to discuss a different perspective with that person using common sense and logic – why not?  Isn’t that how we evolve as humans? By learning new things?  Not only that – doesn’t it sharpen our skills to be able to skillfully argue an opinion and encourage seeing new perspectives?  What can be wrong with that?

In conclusion, when I do finally get some traffic, comments and opinions – no matter what they are – will be respected, but if I don’t agree, I will present an argument.  I hope no one minds or takes offense, as I am entitled to my opinion – and so are you.  Let’s try to see eye to eye so that no one has a reason to be offended.

One more idea I want to mention…

It is very important, in my opinion, to validate opinions by logic, common sense and fact, otherwise, you will find that when stating that opinion, you will get mowed down by someone who may find discrepancies that will automatically cause the opinion to become inconsequential because it does not make sense.  (i.e. the blogger stating that she tries to avoid controversy whenever possible…)

Sometimes opinions are not valid because the person holding them has not thought the opinion all the way through.  The person holding the opinion is simply repeating words that they heard somewhere and regurgitating information that they think applies at the moment.  Real opinions that matter are well thought out and can be argued seamlessly by the opinion holder – without taking the debate (or the controversy) personally.

In other words, if two people are arguing about something, the person who really thought about the formulation of their opinion will not be offended by the other person who is trying to invalidate it.  They will be able to present clear arguments that will defend their position and if there is a solid answer in response – as opposed to taking it personally, they will actually take the answer into account and reformulate their opinion.


Our opinions and other opinions are how we interpret personal experiences.  By listening to everybody’s opinions, we widen the learning benefits of life experience.

So…please be true to yourself and evaluate your opinions carefully.  Don’t just say words that sound good.  Listen to others so that you can grow as a person.  This is the path to evolving spiritually.

Other posts you might like:

And The Truth Will Set You Free

Status of Occupy Wallstreet

Have Lies Taken Over?

Releasing Emotions Makes Us Human

Why is Life Unfair?

Life is full of controversy so here is a thought to live by:
Why is life unfair?
Because there’s never going to be a system that is fair to everyone.
Shannon Miller

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4 responses to “Avoiding Controversy At All Costs

  1. Cheryl Baumgartner

    January 16, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    Unfortunately most of us are raised with the ‘I got mine’ mentality. As long as they are comfortable it doesn’t matter is everyone else is starving to death in the streets. The Occupy movement has opened some people’s eyes they realize “But for the grace of God, there go I” while others shut their eyes even more tightly. Rather than realize that they are actually in the same boat as everyone else they turn and point fingers at their fellow passengers in the dinghy.

    • Peaceful Controversy

      January 17, 2012 at 12:56 am

      Correct – We are all in this together. No one is immune to inequality. To point fingers as if you are not a part of the majority, is silly, because we, the human race, is one!
      Thanks for the comment- G-d Bless!!

  2. marileeza

    January 23, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    One thing you might remind that blogger is that in several Biblical examples (particularly in the book of Ruth) there are scriptural imperatives for the landowners and their field hands to make it a practice to leave a certain amount of the grain for widows, orphans, and essentially those who are without in order that all might have an opportunity to eat. This to me is a exemplary Biblical imperative that we all must take care of those who are less fortunate. Anyone who claims to be a follower of the Word would find many such references that it is our duty to become our “brother’s keeper.”

    It appalls me to realize that so many in this country who claim to be Christian followers never enact the principals that Christ would have them do. Isn’t He the one that exhorts us to “walk the extra mile”, “turn the other cheek”, and love without becoming “puffed up.” It is bolstered by the Old Testament scripture which says “O man, what does the Lord require of thee, but to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with thy God.” One does not walk humbly if he or she is concentrated upon self-seeking, self-aggrandizement, ceasing money and power for oneself. We are also taught in scripture that what we do for others we do unto God. Your blogger is a very shallow soul if avoiding controversy is her main claim to fame. The slogan of “Wage Peace and Not War” of the sixties and seventies reflects that it takes “Action” to reach the common end to which a pacifist aspires. What she seems to have become is the “salt without it’s savor”, which is good for nothing except to be cast out and trodden upon the foot of man: so says the scriptures. Pathetic!

    • Peaceful Controversy

      January 23, 2012 at 11:18 pm

      If you want to know the honest to G-d truth, I was dying to argue with her using Biblical sources, but after her last comment…”…Unlike you, I avoid controversy whenever possible.” I basically got the idea that there was no point in arguing. Sometimes people are simply in denial of themselves and if you try and tell them they are slightly delusional about the way they see things – even in a constructive way, they will refuse to hear it, because it hurts their ego.
      In my opinion, all the points that you have mentioned about (plus so much more) are there to teach us to control our egos. They are hints from G-d on how to live a higher life. You can hear and live it, which inevitably will result in a more humble person, or you can understand it in a way that allows your ego to be inflated. We were given free will in order to make those choices without the option of saying that we were coerced into anything.
      I very much appreciate you comment – and believe me – I hear what you are saying and the anger and frustration attached to it – I feel the same way. You would people who claim to have faith in G-d would not need us to explain this to them…..but, unfortunately, those same people will come back with…..”G-d does not help those who don’t help themselves…”
      I challenge anyone to find these words in the Bible!!!


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